The Gear Head Night Before Christmas

T’was the night before Christmas, when all through the shop
not a piece of equipment was stirring – not even a mop;
The empty oil cans and parts boxes were placed by the back door with care, In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.

The muscle cars were nestled all snug under their covers,
While visions of street racing danced in their powder coated hooker headers;
And my wife in jammies and I in my cap, Had just settled down for a long winter’s nap.

When out on the street there arouse such a clatter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash, I tore open the blinds and threw up the sash.
The neon Mobil sign was glistening on the new-fallen snow Gave the luster of mid-day objects below
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But nine beefy muscle cars with a sleigh in tow.

With an old driver, his foot on the clutch, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
More rapid then eagles those muscle cars came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
“Now, Charger! Now, Challenger! Now both Boss’s 302 and 429!
On, Comet! On Camaro, Corvette and Fairlane!
Don’t Forget the one that leads the troop, on his face he has a shiny red part,
He goes by the simple name of Dart!
Around the corner! Down the driveway!
Now away! Dash away! All dash away!

As a pro-street car down the drag strip will fly,
When they meet with an obstacle they pull their front wheels to the sky,
So up to the shop the coursers flew,
With the sleigh full of car toys, and St. Nicholas too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard close to the spire
The spinning and gripping of each Bridgestone tire.
As I drew a wrench in my hand, and was turning around
In through the back door St. Nicholas came with a bound.
He was dressed in red denim cover all’s, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnish with exhaust and carbon soot;
A bundle of car toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a mechanic just opening his pack.

His eyes – how they twinkled! His dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a Nova that is cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like the font of a Corvair,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the sidewall of my Good Year!
The butt of a Winston he held in his mouth,
And the smoke encircled his head like a burn out.
He had a broad face and quite a round belly,
That looked like it came from too many cases of Old Milwaukee.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon let me know that from the parts he gave me I did not need dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled those oil cans and boxes with performance parts; then he turned with a jerk,
And giving a nod, out the back door he seemed to float, Almost as though he was driving an old Goat;
He sprang to his sleigh to the cars he gave ignition,
And away they all drove like they were being chased by a law enforcement official.
But I heard him exclaim, as he thundered out of sight,
“Merry Christmas to all, And to all a good-night.”

I hope everyone enjoyed this “ New Classic “ (At least in my mind anyway). I want to wish everyone from my family to yours a very Merry Christmas and a truly Happy New Year!

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